
WHEN GIVING CRITICISM
Encouragement helps criticism to land.
Before a pilot lands an aircraft, she goes through a series of procedures to make the plane touch down as smoothly as possible. The pilot gently drops altitude, gradually cuts back on speed, and lowers landing gear at just the right moment. If these steps are handled incorrectly, the ride is certain to be turbulent and may end up in disaster.
For criticism to "land" well, it must be preceded by encouragement. Leaders deafen their people to criticism when they neglect to encourage them regularly. If leaders are silent after victory but outspoken during defeat, then team morale plummets. It's difficult to stay open to suggestions for improvement under what feels like a constant barrage of negativity.
Criticism should avoid being personal
Criticism should avoid being personal, but it should have the support of a personal relationship. To prevent personal insult, leaders should carefully pinpoint specific actions or ideas to criticize. People can accept negative feedback of their performance, but they bristle when they feel their personhood is under attack.
Leaders effectively deliver constructive criticism when they have taken the time to acquaint themselves with those they lead. Without relational connection, the person receiving criticism may feel their leader has a personal vendetta against them. However, if they are convinced their leader respects their efforts and values their growth, they are more likely to be receptive to tough words.
WHEN RECEIVING CRITICISM
Selectively filter criticism
The higher up a person goes in leadership, the more criticism he or she will receive—guaranteed. While some criticism builds up, other criticism tears down. Leaders must learn to distinguish between the two.
The acid test of criticism is made up of three questions:
1. Does the criticism have basis in fact?
2. Is the criticism offered constructively (in an effort to help)?
3. Does the critic have the insight and perspective to speak credibly?
When all three questions can be answered, "yes," then a leader should take the criticism seriously and weigh its meaning. If any question can be answered, "no," then a leader is best served to let the criticism go in one ear and out the other.
Avoid Extremes
A leader who routinely dismisses criticism chokes off vital feedback. When leaders ignore or suppress opposing views, they miss the opportunity to sharpen their ideas. Wise leaders want to be challenged, not coddled. They surround themselves with voices that speak what they need to hear instead of saying only what they want to hear.
On the other extreme, leaders with thin skin are rattled by all manner of criticism. They agonize over the opinions of people whose input is uninformed and unintended to be helpful. They allow second-guessing to cut into their confidence. Ultimately, such a leaders cede authority by subjecting their decision-making to the approval of outsiders.
Listen, Listen, Listen
Sincere criticism rarely comes without a morsel of truth. For a leader, the trick is to stay open when confronted with negative feedback. When criticized, people are tempted to react defensively, angrily, or from a place of hurt. With emotions swirling about inside, it can be difficult to keep listening and to absorb critical comments.
Those who gain the most out of criticism hold their tongue and control their emotions in order to gain access to hard truths. By listening and remaining objective, they grow increasingly self-aware and improve their leadership.
For more advice on addressing criticism, you can read Dr. Bruce Weinstein's BusinessWeek article, "How to Give and Receive Criticism."